Friends.

I don't know how to handle things like this. I feel like crying all the time and I just want to go to sleep. I'm always, always there for the people I'm close with, but it seems that lately we aren't there for each other at all and I really need them right now. I always try to talk about things that are important to me and when I do, I always seem to be blown off in the same ways. When we're on the phone its Oh, I'm watching TV, in person its just that theres other people around and I have nothing fun to say.. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Is it wrong of me to expect someone to be there for me as much as I try to be for them? I always take the back seat with things like this and let everyone else talk to me about their problems. I don't know if its just that I talk all the time and no one wants to hear it anymore.. Thats probably it. I want to tell someone about the things that make me happy and the things that make me upset and its like I tell one person or another, but not many people seem to actually care. And on top of this, Sidney and I have been fighting a lot lately. I think its my fault, I get upset because I don't want to enable her bad habits so I say something to her, then she gets mad at me and we argue for like five minutes and then we don't talk for like twenty. I don't want to see her do that to herself all the time and I thought helping her stop would be good for her, but it seems like its only making us angrier at each other. And when I back down from trying to help, not only to I get upset with her a little, I'm upset with myself for backing down. I don't want to do this anymore. But lately it feels like we're always angry at each other. I don't know what to do, and normally I would talk to her about decisions like this, but I don't think I can. There's just so much going on lately and its taken a toll on all of us, but I feel like it gets taken out on me by a lot of the people involved. I'm probably just overreacting now though. I do that a lot, taking things too personally or taking things the wrong way. I just don't want to loose Sid as a friend, but I feel like she's trying really hard to push me away and I'm trying really hard to pull her back and its not working. It makes me very, very sad. But this happens all the time. It won't be a big deal.