This is ridiculous. Just fucking ridiculous. Sometimes I just can't believe my mother, she does these stupid, unnecessary things all the time. It amazing me, how immature she can be. I don't understand. I mean, I know I don't make the best decisions all the time, but at least I acknowledge and admit that. She doesn't, she blames it on me or her husband and then proceeds to tell us what horrible people we are for doing whatever she did that she's blaming us for. Don't get me wrong, I would rather live with my mom any day, but I HATE her. I do not love my mom anymore, I think I might have a long time ago. I can honestly say that I do not love my mom and I haven't for a while. I guess, for anyone to believe that I don't love my mom, you would have to know everything thats ever happened to make me feel that way, but I don't think I could type that all out in one night. Not to mention I don't think I could handle talking about it without getting up right now and freaking out on her for everything she's done to me that I just ignore.
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2 comments:
I'm sorry that you are feeling so emotionally wracked right now. I think you're entitled to feel strongly about your mother. I would simply say that perhaps leaving a door open to love with your mother- at some future point-is good for your soul. Those who love us the most or who society deems our caretakers have the most to gain and the most to lose when they fall short of what their children need. I respect your honesty and vigor, and the personal strength that has gotten you to where you are today.
I know that feeling. My mother has a certain mental disorder that she won't go get checked. She's very bipolar and borderline, so she freaks out on everyone. She isn't a forgiving person either and is very childish and immature. Sometimes you just have to sit back and write out your feelings. I know I have to just sit back on the edge of the circle of an argument and process everything, so I may be of some help to the others that are feeling her wrath. I do want to strangle her most of the time, but she is my mother. The person who brought me into this world. And though I don't like her very much, I have learned that the bond between mother and child never truly dies, and no matter how much you hate them, part of you, as their child, still loves them, even if we are all sick of their childlike, immature antics. I hope things start to get better for you.
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